Thursday, March 23, 2006

Break on through

About a month ago, perhaps a little less, I wondered how I would manage when the pink cloud wore off. In late February I was riding high on enthusiasm and enjoying the newness of the eating plan. My body was working better than it had been in a long, long time. It still is, actually.

It's my mind that fails me now. So by putting this out there, by writing it down and by thinking about it, I hope I can overcome the negativity and ennui I'm experiencing. I'm eating fine, but I'm making all kinds of excuses to not move, not exercise, not work out, not … win.

When I last kept a journal, I would hit this emotional downturn and quit. I ignored the feelings, or rather gave in to them, and stopped whatever I'd been doing that had been working.

According to Sitemeter, about 15 people visit me virtually every day. I know I won't be letting you down if I stop writing. You'll find someplace else to go, somebody else to read. I've done it myself. When I first started reading fitness blogs, there was one [among several] I really liked. I read the archives and checked the site every day. Finally, after a couple weeks with no updates, I took her off my list. I went back last week and she had just started writing again, after six weeks. Nothing since then, but I'll keep checking.

Because I'm rooting for her. I'm cheering for everyone who puts him- or herself out there with this struggle.

I spend a lot of time rooting for other people. My family, of course, and the Spousal Equivalent, are first when it comes to my emotional support. I volunteer at a women's prison two nights a week, but those ladies – and they are ladies – and their stories stay with me all the time. I want them to succeed, while they are confined and when they are released. I want my friends to be happy and healthy and free of worry.

I know it sounds hokey, but I probably should spend some of my time being my own cheerleader.

Starting now.

1 comment:

Marilyn said...

Just keep on keeping on. If you quit I KNOW HOW TO REACH YOU and will haunt you until you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back on the road you want to be on. (G)

I know it's tough and when we start gung ho the downs come naturally. Maybe you need to give yourself more than one day off a week for the exercise. Try three days a week on or four. Knowing you get the next day off lets you do some more fun things or nothing much if needed. Knowing you on your off days you will be doing stuff in the house and that is exercise too, and it counts.

Keep you chin up and we are all pulling for you.