My blogbirthday wish

Thanks so much for all your great comments yesterday. What a boost that was! I know I try to sound all upbeat and chirpy here [I've declared the Shrinking Knitter to be a mostly no-whine zone], but I will admit to feeling a bit, oh, what's the word? Hopeless? No, that's not right. It's been a year and I'm not at my goal and sometimes I think I should be and what's the word I'm looking for?

Anyway.

Reading all the nice things you said about looking forward to reading my drivel every morning really lifted my spirits. I'm going to print them all out and put them on my inspiration board, which I look at every time I park my ass in front of the computer.

Or maybe I'll put them beside the board. Heh.

Anyway, my most fervent wish has nothing to do with my weight, which probably will surprise most of you, since all-weight, all-the-time is pretty much what I think about these days. My wish is about my attitude, and my attitude toward food, specifically.

I wish I could just not care about food.

You've known people who can take it or leave it, haven't you? Once or twice in your lifetime you've run across someone who saved getting all jazzed and enthusiastic for music or skydiving or getting a good buzz. It's no problem for people like that to skip a meal, to forget it's lunchtime or – gasp! – snack time, to get so busy that hours literally slip away.

Their stomachs may growl, but they don't stop because what they're doing is more fun or absorbing or important than food.

What a concept.

I don't find many knitters who fit into this category. Knitters describe yarn as 'lucious,' 'yummy' and 'delicious.' Knitters include snacks as necessary tools in their knitting bags, and frequently their snacks are chocolate. M&Ms, specifically, because they melt in your mouth, not on your yarn. Some of the newer yarn shops that have sprung up over the last couple years have coffee shops or cafes attached, and what's a knitting get-together without snacks? Preferably homemade and sweet?

So maybe I should take up a different hobby? Not likely. I love to knit, and theoretically you can't knit and eat at the same time. But you can think about eating, and that's where my wish comes in. I want to just not think about it. I haven't yet learned to eat according to my stomach-hunger. My meals are not only prescribed by eDiets, they are prescribed [by me] at certain times of the day, and I rarely miss one.

What if I never learn that? What if I spend the rest of my life thinking about the next meal? This is how I think dieting creates eating disorders.

Yesterday Amy said:

"things are definitely different now that i've lost a bit of weight. like the urgency is gone. it seems it wasn't impossible after all and now the impossible part is to keep going."

I sometimes feel like that, too. That's why I signed up for the half-marathon. It's not just a physical challenge. It's a reason to keep going.

Okay, enough of this serious stuff. I use Google Reader to keep up with my favorite bloggers, and I usually save Laurie for last. I know that nine times out of 10 I'm going to walk away from the computer smiling after I read what Crazy Aunt Purl has to say. Here's what she posted yesterday. Get ready to smile!