Thursday, April 27, 2006

How do you spell I-N-S-O-M-N-I-A?

Cleaning closets.

At least that's how I spelled it last night.

My normal bedtime routine is to read a few pages of either the current book [which is Fat Politics – thanks again, Beth, for the recommendation] or the current New Yorker. It only takes a few pages, normally, to do the job, and I'm usually sound asleep by 10. Eleven at the latest.

Last night I was still wide awake at 11, so I got up and started trying on clothes.

I don't know about you, but my closets resemble department stores in one remarkable way – my clothes come in multiple sizes. The last time I was my current size was three years ago, almost to the day. Those jeans I wore in the last update photo? They're too big. I think I wore them once this month. No matter, though; I have three pairs in the next smaller size that fit fine.

Unfortunately, the 'next smaller size' is still Pretty Darned Big. But it was still a rather heady experience to be raiding my closets, deciding what to give to Goodwill, what to put in the spare room closet [for later] and what to put in the laundry.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life fighting my weight. I never want to lose this weight again.

Here's where I'm heading:

That photo was taken in the mid '90s, and I still have that dress, which is a size 8. For the first time in a very long time, I think I'll be able to wear it again. I didn't have this feeling three years ago, when
I was doing Weight Watchers Online. When I lose eight more pounds, I will reach the lowest weight I achieved on WW. That was in August, 2003, and I plateaued for two months. At that point, I started the slow, painful spiral back up. And up. And then some.


What a vain and boring post this has been! Blogging, though, has been helpful in staying on track this time. I don't know if one element of this trip has been more important or more crucial, or if the combination of strategies is what is doing the trick. All I know is that this time something is different.

And I'll take it.

1 comment:

Marilyn B. said...

What a darling picture and what a goal to be aiming for. I KNOW you will reach it. NO GIVING UP!!
Marilyn B