Friday, September 01, 2006

It had to happen

Sooner or later, Friday Quote Day had to intersect with Then-and-Now Photo Day. Photo first; again, I don't see much difference from this month to last, but from this month to January? Who was that fat woman, and why didn't she wear better clothes?

In the "now" photo, I'm wearing the size 12 skirt I wrote about a week or so ago. When I exchanged the 14 for the 12, I also picked up a 10 – they were so reasonably priced, and I like the skirt so much that I know I'll want one later this fall when the size 10 will fit perfectly! [How's that for confidence?] Right now I can get it buttoned and zipped, but I definitely look like I've eaten too many hot dogs. Heh.

That Buddha really knew his stuff, didn't he? The Buddha said:

“All that we are
is the result
of what we have thought.”

Think about that.

When I was fat, I thought about how fat I was pretty much all the time. I couldn't move comfortably, to the point where I had trouble tying my shoes. I hated seeing my multiple chins in the mirror, and rarely did much with my hair or make-up. My clothes were chosen because they didn't bind or chafe, and because they fit. Did I care if they were stylish or not? Of course I cared. It's just that at my size, stylish was out of the question.

My psychic shift in thinking happened late in 2005, when I really just couldn't stand myself any more. I wasn't having much fun in any area of my life. Climbing stairs left me breathless; playing with my grandchildren was limited to doing craft projects, watching movies and reading books together. I volunteer at Alderson Federal Prison Camp, and the two volunteers with whom I work are both small, fit, healthy women. I constantly compared myself – unfavorably, of course – with them, cheating myself out of the full experience of interacting with the inmates.

And then there's Mr. Shrinking Knitter, who helped me get fit 10 years ago and has stuck with me – and my ups and downs – all this time. I really felt like I'd let both of us down, although I had a long list of excuses ready every time the subject came up. Which it did.

On January 10, 2006, in my first Shrinking Knitter post, I wrote:
Today, I feel unfit, weak and horrible. My weight is a constant – I am never not thinking about it.
I'm so happy to report that on September 1, 2006, feeling unfit, weak and horrible are the furthest things from my mind. I still think about my weight a lot of the time, but it's not the negative obsession it used to be.

I may have mentioned one of my favorite recovery sayings here a time or two before: "If you keep on doing what you always did, you'll keep on getting what you always got." 'Thinking' falls under the category of 'doing.'

Don't you think?

P.S. Ernesto and I will be meeting this weekend, I think. I hope you can avoid him! Don't look for another post until Monday, and
if you're in the U.S., I hope you have a great long Labor Day weekend.


Marilyn B said...

What a beautiful young woman has emerged. Yes, I can call you young, I'm allowed. I'll miss your posts but just hope Ernesto travels thru rapidly enought that not too much high water comes your way, let alone the wind. Have a good weekend and don't drive into any puddles.

dg said...

debbi, i hate to use such a cheesy word as BLOSSOM, but you really have blossomed... oh, and you look damn foxy too :) bon weekend!

Donna said...

I'm loving your little flower sandals - they're a great finishing touch!

Vickie said...

I always read you and like what you say - but I Loved this post especially - it is a great picture! Good thinking on buying the size 10 too! I do that with my growing girls but in reverse - buy one or two sizes UP if it is something they love that fits great - shorts, jeans, jeans skirts, etc. I figure if it fits great and you love it - your size will go down (hopefully) proportionally and it will fit!

Lincoln Highway Gal said...

You look fantastic! I'm sure it was hard to believe at the time that first picture was taken that success was yours! But you are doing it and you are a different person because of it!

Way to go!

Stretchy said...

Happier, Younger, Slim, and stylish...

"You've come a long way baby, to get where you've got to today.... you've got your own fitness plan now baby, you've come a long long way..." ...sung to the tune of the old Virginia Slims commercial...

I think you shine because you set up your own plan,
and that works well for independent strong minded women--

that being said: a friend took me to her boot camp fitness class this morning-- I was the guest victim--- She said" you'll feel this tomorrow" I already feel it -- just 2 hours later.

Stretchy said...


nice legs, that skirt could be shorter. Ask Mr. S. Knitter what he thinks on that.

edgeofnormal said...

Hey, check it out...


Greta said...

Congratulations on the dramatic change! Love the Buddha quote. I am a total believer in visualization and positive thinking.

PastaQueen said...

I read that line about you meeting Ernesto this weekend and I thought, "Who's he? Another blogger?" D'oh! Maybe I need to watch the weather channel more often.

Greta said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Greta said...

I also did not "get" the Ernesto reference. At first thought it must be another blogger or a reader, but then you said "I hope you can avoid him!" so I Googled "Ernesto". Shows you that I read blogs more than news. I mostly avoid news. Who wants to read about the US Govt. torturing prisoners in Iraq, holding prisoners without charges in Guantanamo, and our killing and being killed in Iraq and Afganistan? I'd much rather read about somebody exercising every day and losing a pound. Diet blogs have sweat and sometimes tears, but no bloodshed.

PS. Am I the only one who does not seem able to read those darned weird letters at the bottom of the page? At least one in three tries I do it wrong and they make me try yet another puzzler.

PPS. I am the one who deleted the post above. It was this same post with a typo that made a sentence unreadable.

Sara in WI said...

Hi! I've checked in on your blog on and off for about a month now. You look Maaavelous! Congratulations! I've been doing a half-a** job of getting started on losing weight myself. I have fibromyalgia and have fallen into pity-parties waaaay to often in the last 4 years. I know that I'll feel better when I get my weight and attitude under control. SOOOO....I'm going to start reading your back blogs for encouragement. I'm sure that you had some not great times as well as the great successes and hope to learn from them all. Wish me luck and health! Thanks for your blogging!

Elizabeth said...

attagirl, Debbi! You look great.