Jen wrote an interesting post yesterday at angryfatgirlz which has spurred some thinking on my part. That could be dangerous.
She starts off quoting others [Jonathan and Lori] on how unfair it is to have sluggish metabolisms and work so hard for so little weight-loss reward. She then quotes a new-to-me blogger at length, and gets to the meat of the matter, so to speak, by discussing the fact that whether we like it or not, society judges our outsides before poking into our insides.
Sure, some larger people are judged for their accomplishments instead of their dress size – opera singers and chefs immediately come to mind – but in normal day-to-day living a size 6 is taken more seriously than an XL.
I do it, too. And I'm far from a size 6, and I should know better.
I'm not the first to ponder the incongruity of being the biggest person in the room and yet being pretty much invisible.
When I'm complimented on my looks, I try to say thank you and move on, but I usually add, "But I have a long way to go!" It isn't just a long way in pounds. It's a long way in miles run and calories counted. It's a long way in issues tackled and feelings confronted. In fact, it seems like an endless trek.
Especially now, when my already slow progress has come to a halt in spite of eating healthfully, training rigorously and being sugar-free. How much more can I do? What have I forgotten? Where am I slipping up? Why isn't this working?
My husband told me this weekend I'm one of the few people he's met, and the only person he knows well, who has done so much and lost so little. He decided the first of March to lose 10 pounds by the end of the month. Here we are, less than two weeks into it and he's halfway there. His body and mind are working together, efficiently and successfully.
Mine seem to be working at cross-purposes. And I can't figure out why. Or how to fix it.
Forty-seven days until race day.