Monday, March 12, 2007

You wanna ramble?

Jen wrote an interesting post yesterday at angryfatgirlz which has spurred some thinking on my part. That could be dangerous.

She starts off quoting others [Jonathan and Lori] on how unfair it is to have sluggish metabolisms and work so hard for so little weight-loss reward. She then quotes a new-to-me blogger at length, and gets to the meat of the matter, so to speak, by discussing the fact that whether we like it or not, society judges our outsides before poking into our insides.

Sure, some larger people are judged for their accomplishments instead of their dress size – opera singers and chefs immediately come to mind – but in normal day-to-day living a size 6 is taken more seriously than an XL.

I do it, too. And I'm far from a size 6, and I should know better.

I'm not the first to ponder the incongruity of being the biggest person in the room and yet being pretty much invisible.

When I'm complimented on my looks, I try to say thank you and move on, but I usually add, "But I have a long way to go!" It isn't just a long way in pounds. It's a long way in miles run and calories counted. It's a long way in issues tackled and feelings confronted. In fact, it seems like an endless trek.

Especially now, when my already slow progress has come to a halt in spite of eating healthfully, training rigorously and being sugar-free. How much more can I do? What have I forgotten? Where am I slipping up? Why isn't this working?

My husband told me this weekend I'm one of the few people he's met, and the only person he knows well, who has done so much and lost so little. He decided the first of March to lose 10 pounds by the end of the month. Here we are, less than two weeks into it and he's halfway there. His body and mind are working together, efficiently and successfully.

Mine seem to be working at cross-purposes. And I can't figure out why. Or how to fix it.

Forty-seven days until race day.


Anne M. said...

Debbi, I read Jen's post, too, and found my head nodding up and down at most of it. Society does judge people on their size and the obese are seen as sloppy and out of control even if they are the best dressed and well comported people in the room. It's not fair.

But that's how it is. I could scream at it all day long but it's not going to change. What I can control is how I handle it, which is not easy to do. And I still am the fat one in the room.

You and others who have lost so much are in a different place. You know how far you've come, and that you're not where you want to be - so you are still "in progress". Someone seeing you for the first time never saw you when you started, to know and honor your success.

You are doing all the right things - for heavens sake, you are training for a Marathon! You eat well, you know what you're doing, you've faced issues and feelings, and will continue to do that. Yes, it does seem endless. But it will pay off over time.

We always lose faster at the beginning because our bodies have so much more to shed. There are other measurements to take, though, other than pounds - clothes sizes, physical measurements, strength, stamina. I'll bet those are showing continued change even if the scale is pretty steady.

And men always lose faster than women. It's totally Not Fair.

Debbi said...

As one of my new favorite t-shirts says, it's a Half-Marathon. But a Whole Race. Heh.

And I agree, it's totally Not Fair that men lose more quickly than women do. More muscle is part of it, but that can't be the sum total of their advantage.

Can it?

Cute sandals, by the way. Spring has sprung! I broke out the flip-flops over the weekend.

M@rla said...

Your husband only says that about you because he hasn't met ME yet. I'm not sure which of us wins first prize in the "but I'm doing everything right!" contest but I suspect it would be a photo finish.

Reading that article, I certainly had sympathy for all, but it was frustrating for me too - I was thinking, "the hell with being able to eat junk food like 'everybody else'; I just want to be able to eat normal amounts of healthy food and not gain weight!"

And men? With their stupid muscle and their instant weight loss? Don't even get me started.

Vickie said...

"but in normal day-to-day living a size 6 is taken more seriously than an XL"

I beg to differ -

I might be inclined to ask a well groomed size 6 where she got an outfit, her shoes, or her hair cut


I would be more inclined to ask an XL, XXL, or XXXL advice on a sick child, book recommendation, directions, or anything else of IMPORTANCE.

I am reverse prejudice you see.

And just today – as I was walking out of a store – and saw a stranger – that I REALLY identified with - I wished there was some secret code/signal to say “I KNOW” because at my current size (roughly a 6) – I wondered how she was looking at me . . .

Grumpy Chair said...

As someone who once was a size 6 and a size 18W, size 6 was not invisible. In comparison, the size 6 me received the better treatment from service people.

Anonymous said...

Debbi, I really feel for you trying so hard and feeling you are not getting where you want.

BUT I am a bit worried that in your blog you may be perpetuating the myth that the scale is the only arbiter of weight loss.

Body fat loss is the key. Read Skwiggs blog and her "Stuff to read" for many useful points about this. She says "you may as well run over your scales with your car" for all the real indication they give. There is such a thing as "skinny obese"; those people who look thin and eat garbage.

Also are you doing any interval training? Skwigg has info about this too. Its the most effective way to burn fat, and much more time eficient. In a 20 minute stint you do six intervals of one minute flat out at your max, interspersed with one to two minutes recovery. Warm up and cool down of 5 mins either side.

Give it a try.

You have great persistence, that will get you there in the end.