Committed to change

Yesterday's post elicited some interesting comments. Greta's thoughts echo mine: Does depression precede obesity, or is it a result? She also brought up the idea that overweight people most likely don't exercise as frequently as those of normal weight, and perhaps aren't releasing endorphins, those "feel-good" brain chemicals. I think what I need to learn is that when I'm feeling down, food is not – and never has been – good medicine!

I'm so glad the holiday is over. The leftovers are gone, either tossed or eaten, and I didn't do as well as I'd hoped or planned. I suddenly – from Tuesday morning to Wednesday morning – have four additional pounds to deal with. I know it's not four pounds of fat, but it's not fun to see a number on the scale that I thought I'd left far behind.

While I did plan healthful menus for the weekend, I also had snack-type foods in the house that I rarely buy. Those kinds of crunchy, salty treats are very tempting for me, as are cold cuts, which we had for lunch one day. I don't "do" salt very well. And it seemed like every time I turned around someone was eating something. Each occasion – going for a drive, playing soccer in the front yard, a little fishing in the pond – ended with sandwiches, snacks and sweets.

What I did do well was exercise. I got up early each day our guests were here and did my 6.6-mile loop. It was a good way to start the day, releasing the inevitable anxiety and tension I feel when we have company. I guess I flip into people-pleasing mode when I'm the hostess.

Diet-Blog has an inspiring post here, a great essay about being committed to changing one's life, part of which says [italics are mine]:

The modern attitude to life is all about minimal input and yet expecting maximum gratification. This mindset is apparent in our relationships with others and in our relationship with ourselves. We expect an easy road - but life wouldn't be so difficult if we didn't expect it to be so easy.

I must say, in retrospect, that I put minimal effort into taking care of my food needs over the weekend, while going to great lengths to make sure there was something for everyone else. I didn't expect to be so ... um ... challenged by all the fun food at my fingertips.

I also realize now that no matter what they say, my daily caloric requirements must remain at or below 1200 no matter how much I exercise. I know I gave myself permission to exceed that limit over the weekend. In the back of my mind, I could hear the "experts" suggesting that you need to eat more if you're exercising vigorously. The difference, probably, is that I didn't exercise a great deal more than I usually do – maybe an extra 30 minutes a day. Not enough to burn off an additional 200 to 400 calories per day.

Ah, well. I had hoped to write some kind of inspiring, philosophical message today, which is the first day I've had to really sit down and think hard about what I want to say since the holiday. I'm halfway through my year of losing, and halfway to my goal. Well, not quite halfway today. But close. Maybe this little setback is a good lesson for me.

I'm not a normal eater. I never have been, and I never will be. I will always have to be vigilant, and it's never going to be easy for me to maintain a loss. But the benefits of all that work are far greater than the fleeting pleasure of overindulging in foods that just don't work for me.

As Beverly Sills so wisely said, there are no shortcuts to any place worth going.