Thursday, May 18, 2006

Crime and punishment and reward

The crime?
Sugar ingestion, in the car: two misdemeanors.

The punishment?
An 8.2-mile walk instead of the usual weekday 4- or 5.5-mile loop. (I do the really long walk on Saturday, as a rule.)

The real punishment?
Being too wiped out to do anything the rest of the day.

The big question is why I think I need to punish myself for the sugar slip. I've been trying to be pretty matter-of-fact about this obsession process, but for some reason I'm blowing this all out of proportion.

I have to scale
one long, steep, curving hill just before my two-mile turnaround. When I first moved here [and was in terrific condition], I could run up that hill and still be able to breathe normally. When I'm in a running mood [not yesterday!], I challenge myself by adding a few more running steps each time. Eventually, I'll be able to get to the crest without stopping.

Yesterday as I was trudging up it, reserving my energy because I did, after all, have about six more miles to go, I realized I won't be able to run up that hill until I lose a lot more weight. I'm simply asking my body to do too much.

So there's one little almost-daily self-beating I can eliminate from my routine.

I guess walking eight miles and then expecting to be able to mop the floor or mow the lawn or weed the perennial beds was probably asking for too much, too.

So the reward?
I took a shower, sat in my new chair and knit all afternoon.


MarilynB said...

I agree, you are beating yourself up too much over one little slip. You have done so well and only you know yourself best but an occasional slip with a tiny bit of sugar wont kill your weight loss. At least you didn't eat the whole thing.
Sometimes just a bite or two is enough to take care of a craving. I did that at a wedding reception. Just had two bites of DHs piece of wedding cake and that was all I needed. I did have a few nuts...high in calories but good for you...along with my coffee instead of punch. I felt very good about those decisions.
You need to feel GOOD that you got rid of some of that candy, not BAD that you had a few pieces. It is an example of, "Is the cup half full or half empty?" ALWAYS lood for the good in the deed. Plus I'm sure you burned off those calories with your extra walk distance, and yes, you will eventually be able to run up that hill.
We all need to give ourselves permission to stumble occasionally.

Debbi said...

Thanks for your comment, Marilyn. As always, you are a voice of reason! I don't want to be giving myself too much permission or latitude or leeway, however, as I know the slippery slope to which that leads. And I also know I'm better off, in the long run, with no sugar at all. I did it for five years once ... and am now starting all over again. Ah, well. Good day so far! Hope yours is, as well.