Monday, October 16, 2006

How do you spell relief?

I almost didn't get on the scale this morning. I've been most apprehensive all weekend about the Monday morning weigh-in, to the point of wanting to skip it altogether, or maybe just put it off a few more days. When I used to read some of the Weight Watcher message boards, changing a weigh-in day was a common strategy to shake things up, and I considered that, as well.

In the end, though, I'm a creature of habit and I got on the scale and I lost a freaking pound.

Did you hear that?
I lost a freaking pound!
Whew!

The difference in my mental attitude from seeing a different, lower number for the first time in two months is huge! It's only a pound, but you'd think it was five if you could see how relieved I am.

And that truly is how I feel. Oh, and also motivated and determined and resolved. I wasn't going to give up and go back to where I'd been in January, but I was almost – almost – ready to accept that maybe I would be this weight and this size for the rest of my life.

For people who haven't seen me in a long time, I look normal. Good, even. When I go shopping, I don't have to buy plus-sizes [which never fit well anyway]. I can move easily and comfortably; I can run up a flight of stairs without running out of breath, and I can and do accomplish more plain old daily tasks than I used to, simply because I have more energy.

But I still have a mind picture of myself from 10 years and 25 fewer pounds ago, and that's what I want. I know I won't be satisfied until I get there. I'm very happy with the effort I've put into this so far, but the results aren't good enough.

Yet!

Oh, yeah, did I happen to mention …
I lost a freaking pound!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

CONGRATS! Keep up the great work!!!

Anonymous said...

That is FREAKIN' FANTASTIC! Congrats!

mehitabel said...

Yay for you! Every pound counts, as you well know, and this one just has a special place! Now my wish for you is that this pound will be followed shortly by lots of its little friends!