DuPont's venerable advertising slogan fits a variety of modern-day situations, including the one I find myself in now. Raise your hand if you've ever repeated the title of this post in a drug- or alcohol-induced fit of giggles. [For the record, the original slogan was "Better Things for Better Living … Through Chemistry."]
I've never been one to run to the doctor for every little thing, nor do I like taking pills. That's why my daily vitamins and calcium supplements look like this:
But sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do, and when I had my mini-breakdown last month it became quite clear to me that enough was enough. So I started taking Wellbutrin.
Dr. C and I picked Wellbutrin because it has two desirable side effects: loss of appetite and agitation. Mr. Shrinking Knitter will tell you I'm about the most laid-back, non-anxious person you'll ever meet [he makes up for it], so a little agitation is a Good Thing. And loss of appetite? Do we even need to analyze that? Of course, not all patients experience side effects, so it's a crap shoot anyway.
So I took it for a couple weeks and did, indeed, experience a dramatic loss of appetite. It was very cool, actually. I occasionally felt physical hunger, but rarely wanted to eat. Food was unappealing in every way; it didn't look, smell or taste good at all.
And then something bit me on the leg. It was a nasty bite, the redness surrounding the bite site spread rapidly and I developed a rash. Dr. Internet and I diagnosed it as a recluse spider bite, but Dr. C didn't agree. He did, however, point out that Wellbutrin also can cause a rash, and suggested I discontinue it until the rash cleared up.
Back came the appetite, down went the energy and this all happened leading up to the race last Sunday. I was somewhat of a mess, as you might imagine. But I decided to just Get Through It, come hell or high water. So to speak.
And, obviously, I did. I went back on the Wellbutrin Monday and am hoping that once I'm up to a full dose again [you have to start with half a dose daily and titrate up], that loss of appetite phenomenon will kick back in.
The bad thing about not eating is it doesn't help with running. I plan to force myself to eat prior to and immediately after my workouts and let the chips fall where they may.
Have I dredged up enough clichés for one post yet? Heh.
I gave myself Monday and Tuesday off – the schedule said "easy three-mile run" for yesterday, but I'll do it today. It was in the upper 80s yesterday and I just couldn't force myself out the door in running gear. Flashbacks or something.
I appreciate very much all your comments welcoming me back into the fold. I hope to have some weight-loss progress to report soon. And I've been knitting, socks and fingerless gloves, with Christmas stockings on deck.